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August 23rd, 2011
11:57 pm I don't want to live on this planet anymore
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June 15th, 2008
09:52 pm - Time Capsule My English teacher is having us make time capsules that she'll mail to us in 4 years. Waht does one put in a time capsule?
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June 10th, 2008
04:59 pm - So my bio teacher gave me an extension on the "perfect plant" assignment AND I STILL HAVEN'T DONE IT.
I don't know why I have such a mental block up against it. I should've had this done back in April when it was due, and yet, I've waited until the last 3 days before the end of my high school life to finally fucking do it. I'm so pathetic. I think I don't want to do it because the people I was supposed to work with aren't doing the assignment either. Well, we're not allowed to work in groups but I've just comiserated with them over the past month about not doing it and really wanting to just fucking do it. We were going to try to do some of it together but it never worked out. Probably because I'm a fucktard and don't know how to deal with people.
I've never been diagnosed with any social anxiety disorder, but I know I have to have some problem. Normal people don't agonize over how to ask your partner when and where you're meeting for a project that was due a month ago. Normal people do not waver and wait and doubt themselves every step along the way. I'm such an idiot. IF I had just done the fucking project, I would be done for the year with all of my fucking assignments. I fucking hate myself for this.
And, my side project, the math magazine has not yet been published and it was due to come out TODAY. FUCKING TODAY. So I call the publisher and he says "We're almost done with your job". When the owner of the publishing company took me and my co-editor for a tour of the facility, he told us how a job like ours could finished in 20 minutes, but processing takes a couple of hours. It's been 4 days. I am going to die.
And I just got my cap and gown today. I AM GOING TO DIE. I haven't met any of my personal goals/new year's resolutions. i'm still a fatass procrastinating dumbass fucktard.
I can't do this.
Normal people could go through something like this. Me? I can't. I can't do it. I don't think I'll make it through the first week of college. Oh lord, I can't do this.
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01:41 am - it's been a while i have 4 more school days left until i graduate and yet, i am up at 1:41 AM, trying to do all of the shit for my Biology class I didn't do all quarter and am hoping i can turn in for something of a grade? FUCK FUCK FUCK.
i'm hungry and delirious. it was 100 degrees today, not lying. in school, where it's easily 9.5 times hotter inside the buildings than outside, for 6.5 hours. holy shit, i drank 2 water bottles and probably sweated all of it out anyway. luckily, tomorrow, we have a 2-hour early dismissal because there's some sort of violation or heat advisory thing or something, idk.
oh, and that reminds me, i was driving to school today and i check my gas-o-meter and i'm at 3/4 of a tank. so, ok, la dee da i go to school. but when it's time to go home, my gas gauge is at a steady half a tank. what. the. eff. that's one day's pay gone (i work 3 hours a day, 3 hours a week at t the library and make about $25 in that time). so fuck and a half for high temperatures. not only do they make me sweat profusely, but they make me lose gas. as i type now, i am probably losing another quarter of a tank to evaporation. it is fucking hot. i don't know what my lineage is (like where my family's from, all i know is, trace it back like 3 or 4 generations and you hit eastern europe somewhere), but I am whiter than white. these hot temperatures? not really doing it for me. my optimum temperature of reaction is 20-80 degrees (with no humidity). you bring the temperature up to (a heat index of ) 110 degrees, my body tissues are melting. this is cruelty to animals.
i am saying this now, though, from the comfort of my 75 degree air-conditioned house. thank the lord for that. i hope there is air conditioning in college. honestly, why tghe fuck haven't i checked this before. why haven't i looked into what will be one of the most important lifestyle factors for my next 4 years of life. i am a doofus.
ok, i should be getting back to work now. it's 1:51 and i still have to: -do a report on the "perfect plant" (DIE) -do a farewell speech for my english literature class -shower and, oh yea, SLEEP.
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May 20th, 2008
11:36 pm - My constitution is too weak to take this much upset People fucking suck. will elaborate later when workload calms the fuck down.
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April 21st, 2008
04:39 pm - Writer's Block: Almost Famous
bellydancing, obv
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April 6th, 2008
06:05 pm - just to make sure i remember what i'll be neglecting
article summary for PIG on judicial action*French midterm project*English essay on Heart of Darkness*- reading Heart of Darkness**
reading IB Math articles for QED**electrophoresis/transformation lab ( aka Lab 6) for BIO*- researching housing options/ rigor of scholars program courses @ Binghamton***
chemical eric for BIO*lab 10 on the circulatory system*8-theme reflection for anatomy and physiology unit in BIO*8-theme reflection for taxonomy*- find out about after-prom plans
- get prom dress
study for BIO test this friday. i will die.
* = due tomorrow/Monday ** = due Tuesday *** = due Wednesday
I'm going to see Colin Mochrie + Brad Sherwood of "Whose Line Is It Anyway?" tonight with the family 45 minutes away from where i live. by the time i get home, i will not be able to get anything done. and i am going to die of senioritis and fail out of high school/life.
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February 24th, 2008
07:02 pm - to-do list LIT- annotated bibliography, response paper, presentation, read 200 pgs of Crime and Punishment (all due mon)
PIG- some shit article summary (due mon)
BIO- read ch37-45, CANCER project (tues), lab makeup (wed) QED- read all papers and det. if any are worthy (mon) FRENCH club- talk to lawlor about persepolis, talk to other language club people about scholarship $, talk to hansen about trip, museum?, restaurant? (free time--tues?)
MATH- packet (mon)
-talk to marie about wed. classes: interested?
-talk to the english guy about layout tutorial -scholarsheeps? -call interview woman & set one up: clark dangerous? adjustment process? -?: job interview -re-learn solfeggietto -ETM
-watch Ratatouille -switch library hours (..thurs-->wed?) -read random facts book and 10 conflicts book for A.T.
:(
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February 8th, 2008
01:57 pm - who i should vote for
according to this site, i should vote for Mike Gravel http://www.whoshouldyouvotefor.com/quizzes/independentresults.php
according to this one, i should vote for Barack Obama http://www.politicalbase.com/toolbox/&action=personalityResults&resultId=11
according to this one, i should vote for both Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama http://quizrocket.com/who-should-i-vote
according to this one, i should vote for Mike Gravel http://glassbooth.org/Quiz/index
...maybe this is why im so undecided because my top candidate is a Democrat who has like .1% of the votes haha. poor Mike Gravel.
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January 28th, 2008
06:23 pm - ew got home watched t.v./movie ate feel sick got email about viral meningitis at school i think i might have it.
i got the symptoms-the light sensistivity, fever, headache, lethargy, irritability
idk about this one, my bff jill...
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